Return to Kansas - Part II

Although I spent most of my childhood there, I don't think I ever really belonged. After all the short-term places I lived as a small child we ended up in Topeka when I was eight. I lived there for 10 years. Then I lived for nine years in Des Moines. I've been here in Portland now for 10 and a half years. Longer than I lived anywhere else. This is home. And it fits me. I enjoyed my childhood in Topeka - but I couldn't live there as an adult.


I think my parents thought I was picking on them when I took this photo and kept talking about it, but really it's just my wonderment at how different life can be in places not so far away, and that used to be familiar. Now when I go back there the things I take for granted don't exist and even common things seem foreign.

See there - all in one container headed to the landfill - yard debris, cardboard, plastic bags and food waste. Here at home - that's at least three separate containers - if not four. Yard Debris. Recycling. Trash. Compost. Only one of those is going to go to the landfill. Now my folks do collect newspapers and aluminum cans in their garage and my dad takes them in a few times a year, so they do recycle what they can - but the city has NO curbside services whatsoever. Nearly everything is simply thrown away. Nearby in Kansas City, they do have curbside recycling - so hopefully it's something that will continue to spread across the country, it's such an easy thing for people to do.

I was happily surprised that I didn't see as many McCain signs as I thought I would. I did see more on my parents block than I have in all of Portland (three - I've only seen three in Portland - I love that!) But it wasn't nearly the overwhelming tide I assumed I'd see. Of course I didn't see a single Obama sign until we got to Kansas City, so my thought is that the people of Topeka aren't fully embracing either candidate. The staunch conservatives will still vote McCain - but they're not going to advertise for him. We get a (pleasantly) biased view of things like that here in Portland. You can safely assume that a majority of the people you talk to are going to be more liberal. If not a registered Democrat - they're an independent who leans that way.

And then there are the things like our NW coffee and beer addictions. My mom brought back some good coffee from their trip to Montana last month, but Sat morning after being wakened at 7:30 am but two little girls - and knowing that since that was the day of the wedding that I'd likely be up quite late - I wanted a big four-espresso shot latte. So I asked where I could go to get coffee. I got a recommendation for the Phillips66 station. And at the Renaissance Festival I went to with Steve and Tracy and the kids - with the exception of one Guinness stand I saw - everything else they served was made by Bud, Coors or Miller. Shudder!

At least, unlike Violet, I had internet access.

The Return to Kansas - Part I

We've contemplated trips back to the Midwest a few times over the past two years since our last trip, but prices have been high, then my folks were out to visit last year at this time and Noland's folks have been out 3 or 4 times in the past two years, so we keep putting it off. While I love my folks, if we're going to spend $900 and burn a week of valuable PTO - we want to do more than sit on the couches of our parents homes. We'd just been talking of making a trip pin January - after holiday prices dropped - but just going for a long weekend and each going to our respective parents homes once we landed in KCI, saving us 3 or 4 days of PTO by not having to divide time between the two. Then I got the invite for Amy's wedding and it fit into the plan perfectly. Since Noland's folks had just been out the month prior, he didn't go - but I took off to Kansas for a whirlwind weekend of family and wedding festivities.

Often when I've been back, both my brothers and their families come to my parents for a day or so when I'm in town. This time scheduling stretched things out a bit more - and I think it worked nicely that way. I had about a day with just mom and dad, then my brother showed up with his little girls and we had about a day together, then a brief stint at the wedding and over to my older brothers for an evening and the next day with his family. It was good - I got adult time with mom and dad - and even a brief visit to an old family friend (who was also an undecided voter...I don't think I actually know any of those, so I got a chance to make a good plug!) Then I had a chance to play with the little girls and give them my undivided attention. We had a scavenger hunt, did manicures, drew pictures and played restaurant...they're pretty adorable (and I think the 4-year-old is a bit of a mini-me - complete with proclaiming "dammit" when she was told no more Skittles before bed. Dad and grandma weren't too impressed, but big sister said "that's what mommy says" and I was trying so hard not to laugh! Good luck with that one James and Colleen...tee hee...) And then I had a chance to talk to my teenage niece and nephew without the little ones vying for all of our attention. Almost grown up those two - we talked about colleges (the smart ones!) debating, driving, drama...and that twisted sense of humor that us Newman kids all have...although I think it comes from the Grandpa Amble genes.

And I had one good high school friend at the wedding whom I got to sit and chat with at the reception for a brief time. I probably should have gone ahead and rented a car so that I didn't have to bolt out of the wedding immediately after dinner, but it was very nice of my folks to drive me around to it all. And I'm so glad that I was at least able to make it to the wedding.

The only problem with the family time being so spread out, is that I didn't really get any friend time. There aren't many people left in Kansas, and even fewer in Topeka - but it would have been nice to have been able to see some of them. So if your in Kansas and I didn't see you, or you didn't even know I was there - next time! Or you'll just have to come out to Portland!

I Get Bored Easily

I think I'm growing bored with "city blogging." I've been writing for Metblogs for more than two years now, and not that it's a huge span of time - but it is a good chunk of time. I just don't have huge inspirations for posts these days. I post things because I should. I post things because I don't want to let the MB folks down, especially after being the last man standing there for awhile after all the brouhaha. Because I'm a responsible person. But not because I really am excited to. I'm not even very excited to read what's posted. It's beginning to feel like a lot of the same old thing. Even over on OurPDX - which is cool and I read daily, but I'm just not as excited as I used to be...Tri-Met woes, cool bands, new restaurants, bike stuff, tech stuff, quirky things spotted downtown. I often find myself just skimming.

I know I can have a short attention span. I was a member of the OMTAAMB for 5 or 6 years - then I got bored and quit. I've sung in community choirs - then after couple seasons I got bored and quit. I took purely for fun classes - dance, guitar - then I get bored after a semester and quit. I don't want it to become a chore, and there is someone new now who can take the reins to build a new author group - something I had no interest (or talent) to do. So I think it may be time for me to call it quits on Metblogs. By taking a break, maybe I'll return again later more enthused. It's kind of sad 'cause it has been (mostly) fun - but in a way it will be good. I still read a lot of blogs - it's just my 'go to first' blogs have shifted. It's the more specific blogs I'm drawn to lately. Individual people with more personal stories or specific topics I'm interested in. So I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I think it means that I'll be writing here a heck of a lot more!

WWhhheeeeeeee!!!!!!!

To Be Totally Superficial...

Just by comparing the crowds at Obama and McCain's final convention speeches it's easy to see who is truly in touch with 'the people.'

One if full of people young and old, white and black and latino and asian, well-dressed, hipply dressed, sloppily dressed... awake. Tonight the poor camera man kept having to focus on the same two or three young people (and by young I mean under 50) to make the crowd look better balanced, all in stuffy suits, pretty darn white, and oh so many yawns...

My husband will love this

From the 'brilliant' minds of I Can Has Cheezburger come a new endeavor...

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!

CHAMPS!!!!!!

Dumb Portland Schools

I've lived in Portland now for 10 years. Longer than I 've ever lived anywhere in my life. But Portland 'snow days' still just kill me. Today - all the schools were delayed by 2 hours and a bunch were closed. Most of the city had no snow whatsoever, some places has a light dusting - and up in the west hills they got an inch or so.

When I first moved here I would have made fun of them doing any of that. And to a large degree I still do. But now I understand how woefully unprepared anyone who lives in Portland is for any sort of winter weather - and can accept the people in the higher elevation areas being concerned about their inch of snow....so those couple of schools in that neighborhood can close...or maybe the few parents whose house sits at that top of that big hill...don't come in until later. But seriously - there are thousands of kids home from school today without even a meager dusting of snow on their front lawns. Thousands more who were delayed for two hours causing their parents to have to go into work late or figure alternate arrangements. It's just plain dumb.

People complain about the quality of education here, they blame class sizes, and not having resources and all that crap...but with the exception of modern technological changes, thing now look pretty much the same as they did when I was in school...so who knows, maybe this is an indicator of how little those in charge really care. If they're willing to give the kids a day like today off...maybe education just isn't a high priority for our educators.

Things People Say on the InterWebs Make Me Laugh

The Merc had an article last week about the trials and tribulations of finding a place to live...not finding and apartment or a house - but finding room - moving in with other people you don't know. To me that's kind of a bizarre situation - other than Kyle & Crane filling a spot at the Monkey Ranch I don't know anyone who's lived with people they didn't know. Their roommates were always at least some sort of friend. So I commented that wa - and this was one of the response:

divebarwife, one example might be women who don't identify themselves by what their husband does for a living. maybe such women wait to get married beyond the first guy with a bank account they manage to fuck. in the meantime, they need to split rent (ahem, pay their own rent at all), and their friends may already have places when they find themselves looking.

in summary, don't be such a cunt.

Heh heh - yes, 'cause that's me - ha ha!

I Don't Want Pictures of Your Kids

I love getting Christmas cards from my friends, especially the ones who live across the country and I don't get to see very often. I like their brag letters telling all the wonderful things that happened to them this year and I like the cards with photos of the whole family.

Let me repeat that.

I like the cards with photos of the whole family.

So far I have received three photo cards from friends or family who live in Kansas and Minnesota. I got one from my cousin Brian and his wife - it's a totally adorable picture of them out in a boat wearing silly hats or something (I'm not sure exactly what's on their heads!) I love it. I hadn't seen Brian for years and years until Grandpa's funereal last year. We got a chance to reconnect and it was cool. It's nice seeing the photo and I'm glad he's keeping in touch. (Now I just need to do the same!)

I also got one from a friend in Topeka and one from a friend in Minneapolis...both just photos of their kids. Swell. I don't get it. Why would you send me a picture of your kids and not yourself. You are the one who is my friend. Your kids are adorable and all that - but YOU are my friend. I want to see a picture of YOU. What - you think you take a bad picture, that your smile is weird or you have a double chin or you're going bald. I don't care. It's not that I don't care about your kids, if all of you are in the photo that's the best. But honestly - if it came down to it you could take them out and have it just be you (and spouse or whoever if you have one.) You're my friend, if you're going to send me pictures - send me ones of you. I miss you.

A Little Somethin' About Me...

I got tagged to do this...so why not?
The ones in bold I have done...

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said "I love you" and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

A Bit of Holiday Cheer

Sent to me by my friend Jennie...

"Straight No Chaser - 12 Days"

Dance the Night Away

I’m a little slow in getting this down…but it’s been in my head for a week now. After bowling last Thursday I bolted over to the Doug Fir and met Julie to see VHS or Beta. Julie knew the opening band - Moving Units - and they were pretty good – but I was most stoked to see VHS or Beta. I wasn’t aware until they started their set that they, or at least the singer, were from here. He mentioned that he’d grown up in Eugene anyhow – so close enough. We’d had some beers at bowling (and I’d wandered into the men’s room without having any clue until I came out to see a guy giving me the stink eye as he walked in and Violet about to walk into the women’s room laughing at me!) and of course we had some cocktails at the Doug Fir. By the time the night was over I had a nice buzz…but the drink wasn’t what was keeping me so pumped.

It was just such a fun show – and it was the type of show that I really hadn’t been to in a long time. Sure – Noland and I go see lots of bands, and I love them. When it’s the stuff I don’t like – I don’t go, he heads of with Bill or Ian. So I do really have fun at the shows I go to – but Noland doesn’t do this type of show, and since I’ve moved to Portland I haven’t been friends with anyone who does. The band is a bit reminiscent of 80s techno-pop…New Order, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys…but not a retro-rehash. Very unique actually. But it’s the type of show I would have gone to with Anita or Susan or Jennie…and we would have danced through the whole thing – not just stood there and watched. During their set I was thinking that I need to send all of them a CD of some of their music in case they don’t know it (so if by chance any of you read this – act surprised when it arrives!) But that’s what Julie and I did – we shook our grove things! I didn’t realize how much I’d missed that. I know that Kelly or Violet or even Steve like going to those types of shows as well – but between V needing a sitter or K’s travel plus things like bowling, shows that go see with the guys, and just general life – when it comes to deciding on which social things to do and which to skip, this is the stuff that always gets back burnered. But for Julie – these are the front burner things – so I’m glad that she’s here to kick my butt into gear and do some of them!

After the show we were in the bar hanging out with a friend of hers up from Atlanta and some other folks until almost 2 am on a school night, so if I hadn’t gone – I might not have been so wiped out on Saturday and we may have made it out to Satyricon or Dante’s….and that would have been fun. But I typically leave a show at Dante’s ready for bed. When I left Doug Fir, if I hadn’t had to work the next day I could have gone all night. That’s a much better feeling.

Gun Play

I think this is a great idea.

I'm not actually opposed to toy guns - my brothers and I all played cops-n-robbers, cowboys-n-Indians, army man, etc. - and none of us are gun owners as adults. I completely disagree with the parenting style that doesn't allow kids to ever see something bad. (And as a non-parent I totally have that right - ha ha!)

But I DO have a big issue with private gun ownership. I think all semi- and automatic weapons should be illegal for personal ownership. I think having rifles/"hunting" guns are fine, but should be quite restricted. And I think handguns should be even more restricted, as I see little need for them in a home.

So even though I don't think toy guns are harmful to kids - I do like the idea of them deciding to turn them in for a different toy.

People Who Piss Me Off

I try to ignore them, but they drive me crazy and I just want to pull my teeth out. You know them. You've heard them. Maybe you've cheered them on. Maybe you ARE one.

'The only television I watch is PBS and The Discovery Channel.'
'I went on this cleansing diet of nothing but lemon juice and it was amazing.'
'My little Jimmy/Janie decided to be a vegetarian at age 3.'
'We only use natural/recycled/organic products in our house.'
'Our kids were just under stimulated in public schools.'
'I never eat fast food.'
'We don't even own a TV.'

Sure - Discovery had some good programs - but you've never been flipping channels and gotten sucked into something ridiculous...or something fantastic, but totally not educational? No? Bullshit.

And your cleansing fast? You loved it? It felt great? And all the people sucking up to you telling you how great it is that you did that? Bullshit.

I could go on. And you know what. I don't believe ANY of you. Self-righteous, smug little twats.

And that goes double for you people who cheer them on.

How to Train Your Dogs to Pee

Our dogs live outside when we're not home. We have a nice fenced back-yard with room for them to run and a variety of places to get out of the rain or sun depending on the weather. During nicer weather - most of the time we spend with them is spent outside. They come inside occasionally, but spend most of their days outside. As the rainy weather set into it's daily drizzle - that pattern changes - and we bring them inside most every evening that we are home.

Being outside dogs however - they aren't trained to go outside, pee and come back in. They figure if they're going outside it's to either play, walk or just be put back outside. Even if they're the ones who indicated that they wanted out. Begbie does pretty well, but once outside Faith is so excited about the prospect of the ball being thrown that she's lost interest in peeing. Even when it's midnight, wet, and we just need them to go once more before we go to bed.

So Noland has come up with a brilliant plan on how to train them on that particular command. The last several nights before we go to bed, when he opens the door and sends them out with the "go pee" command, he goes and pees with them.

All three come back in relieved for the night and ready for bed.
So adorable.

So Close to Home

Yesterday we delivered Thanksgiving boxes to families that may not have had much for the holiday otherwise. More than 100 boxes were delivered - which feed more than 600 people - nearly 400 of whom are children. We had a little conversation before hand talking about how doing this isn't for us to feel good about 'doing something good' but truly to be helping those who are in need. Noland and I took 4 boxes - I believe everyone was given fairly random assignments of where their boxes went. Two of the boxes that we had in our car - ended up being delivered to home just blocks away from our own house. I know we don't live in a wealthy part of town...when we're feeling lazy and put our aluminum and bottle recycling out on the curb rather than taking it to the store - I think it's one of our neighbors that usually picks it up. But it was still a bit of a shock to think that poverty really is that close. That our neighbors might not be eating, or not eating well, while we really do have so much.

Doing the Thanksgiving baskets is great - and I'm glad that East County does it, and there are a lot of other great things done - especially around the holidays - but what about these people the rest of the year?

So my company is putting together an initiative to get involved in the community in a volunteer aspect and I'm leading part of that program. I think what we're going to do, is get involved with the Community Transitional School. It's a school for kids who are homeless...they have a bus that goes around and picks them up wherever they may have spent the night before..the route changing daily. For many of these kids - this school may be the only stable thing in their lives. They've been in a variety of temporary locations over the years - but are now building a permanent building not to far from where we live. So I'm going to talk to the people at the school to find out how we can best help - if it's donations of school supplies, they also need basic hygiene supplies for the kids, if we can do something at the school itself.

It's not about us - it's about them...but I'd be lying to say that it doesn't make me feel good that we can do this.

What Good Does Flushing Do?

Before you pee that is.

There's a woman who works across the hall (we share restrooms with another office) who always flushes the toilet when she first walks into the bathroom. As far as I can tell - always - not 'cause someone else didn't.

Beside wasting water - what's the point?

I don't get it.

I Am Invincible!

The last time I was there they thought I was sedated. They thought I had no idea what they were doing. But I wasn't completely out and I knew. Luckily they almost got busted and I got away. I never told anyone about it because I was afraid they might try to come find me, and somehow they did. I was now back there again. But this time I had the upper hand. They thought I'd have no memory of the last time, but I knew exactly what they were planning.

My mom dropped me off as planned - but I had her grab my purple overnight bag and take it with her instead of leaving it behind. I told her to just grab it as she walked out the door and to be subtle. I didn't tell her why. I went back into my room like I was supposed to, then into the bathroom - but from there I slipped out the back door and around behind the buildings. I started to head toward the parking lot, but saw a group of folks in uniform so I slipped back into an alley and came into the parking lot on the far end. Because I knew what they were planning - when I left my keys with the parking attendant I had only left a copy - I still had them in my pocket, now I just had to find my car. I couldn't see it and I knew I didn't have much time, so I hit the unlock to see if I could catch the lights flashing. Ah-ha. There it is. I get in, but I've been spotted and the alarm has been sounded. I'm running toward my car - but so are they. I get in and start it up - but one of the guys is hanging on the door trying to climb in after and stop me. They have some sort of electro magnetic device that they use to shut down my engine - and I can't go any further.

There's a bit of a scuffle - and they decide they need to move me to a different facility. They still don't know how much I know however - so they only put me in the back of a car with an "attendant" like nothing is really wrong. And they don't check for things like - if I still have my phone. I pull it from my pocket and try to call Noland. No answer. I can't speak so I send a text message, but I'm not sure if it gets through. We've been driving around for a while and I think they've been intentionally going a winding back route to confuse me - because I'm not exactly sure where we are when we pull over to get supplies. I feign sleep so they leave me in the car - I dial 911 and am able to give the operator a few words before they return to the car - but I leave the phone open so that if they say anything that might help the 911 operator find me, they can overhear it. They weren't to bright though and they put me on hold because all of a sudden there was elevator music playing out of my phone and I'm busted. They tell me to throw it out the window and I argue with them. They're going to have to make me.

Suddenly a song comes on the radio that we all like and start singing along... 'Merican by The Descendants... they're impressed that I know the song, so I relent and tell them that I remembered last time. That I wasn't sedated - but that even though I knew what was going on I didn't tell anyone and they can trust me.

I think I might have 'em convinced.

Gilligan's Island and Pumpkin Pants

Ahoy!

But now I owe Spencer beer...