Sunday, May 08, 2005

Gnomes will work for beer

It's true. If you are ever at your former dance teacher's palatial mansion for rehearsal and it starts raining and the teacher's brow beaten husband tries to lead you along with all the other kids to the basement you don't have to stick around. You're not a kid anymore. And it's almost midnight.

Of course if you've taken your shoes off you'll need those before you can leave. First you need to start looking in the main floor where all the kids are hiding under cardboard boxes cause it's raining inside as well. It would be easy, but they're not there. So you head upstairs next. You've been to the house many times before, but you've never been upstairs - when you get up the ladder you realize this must be the "private" section of the house. It's obviously their bedrooms, the nursery, and by the looks of all the crazy machines and electronics - where they had your teacher's wacked out mom living until she died mysteriously recently.


Get out of that part quick. So now down to the lower level to the study - the husband has done a LOT of hunting since the last time you were over. There are boxes and boxes of animal horns, odd foriegn trinkets, mounted heads - it's a bit overwhelming - but you weren't in that room either, so you head on.

Now when you go down the next flight of stairs.
Over there.
In the corner.
There are gnomes in the basement!
They thought that they were safe to run around since the kids had all gone to the other basement to get out of the rain...they hadn't expected you!

Now gnomes have to do whatever you ask them to if you come to a mutual agreement. And they can't stop until they're done - so you ask them to look for your shoes.
One yells out "we'll do it for 5 beers!"

You agree and a couple others try to up the ante - but you just be firm with them. Five beers was what the first one asked for so that's the deal. Be sure you give them a very detailed decription though - size 9 women's red canvas Rockport sneakers, new - you've only just worn them that one day - cause being gnomes they're awfully tricky and will just try to brig you any old dirty sneakers and call it done.

And that's just no good.