Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Happy Family

Whew – the folks were here – we had a nice visit and now they’re gone – WHEW! As Noland noted – it’s a bit of a passive-aggressive pattern between my mother and I and if they were here for more then the 65 hours that they were here – we would have to do even more serious dinking then I’m already in need of…

Here is an example of a conversation we had on Thursday night (mind you they’d been in town a total of maybe 4 hours at this point):

Mom: so you need to put the leftovers in the refrigerator you know

Me: I will

Mom: so lets go clean up the kitchen and put those away

Me: I’ll do it later

Mom: well but won’t you feel better if you do it now, plus that needs to be refrigerated…

Me: I will do it later

Mom: Let’s go do it now. I’ll help

Me: Mom – I don’t think the enchiladas sitting on the counter for another hour will hurt. It’s not like its 90 degrees in here or there are bugs crawling around my kitchen

Mom: well, but there are all the dishes to that need to be washed

Me: Yes, and we have a dishwasher, and maybe tomorrow I’ll load them in and wash them. Dishes often sit in my kitchen for more then a day and the world doesn’t fall apart…

(We didn’t put the enchiladas away then, but about an hour later we did have to load the dishwasher – and I had to start it running to stop her from making me do the hand wash dishes right then and there)

End of the first full day - Friday night:

Mom: you know it’s time for the news.

Me: (rolling eyes) we don’t watch the news

Mom: well some of us just like to know what’s going on in the world

Me: you know you can read the news and then you don’t have to watch the same sound bites over and over again.

Mom: but then it’s at least a day old…

Dad: and besides - you don’t even get the daily paper.

Me: it’s called the Internet – and then it can be minutes old

Mom: but here we can see what’s important in the world

Me: Sure, important to the programmer trying to get ratings…I bet there will be nothing on this broadcast that I didn’t already read online today…and with more information

Mom: all media is biased, you’re not getting anymore of a correct story by reading it online, so why not just watch it here

Me: I’m not saying it isn’t biased, but because I can link from one source to another to get different perspectives on the same information I know more about the topic then what’s covered in the 30 seconds they devote to it here…

(We did watch the NBC Nightly News, but I refused to watch the local news, and that disturbed them as well, even though they don’t live here and have no idea what it would be about)

Or in a store on trendy-third Saturday afternoon as Noland and I were looking at a dining table and chairs that we liked:

Me: This is the type of table we want – its big and sturdy and solid

Mom: but just one for a lot less then that

Me: well, no not really, most that are like this are in this price range, we just need to wait a few more months to save up for it

Mom: I’m sure there are ones that are less

Me: well I’m sure a little, but this is about what it will cost

Mom: plus you can’t get that – it’s wood and you’ll set your drinks on it and ruin in

Me: yes, because we’re twelve we don’t know how to take care of things

Mom: well people will come over and they won’t use coasters and you’ll get marks on it

Me: it’s a table; you’re supposed to use it

Noland: plus I kinda like that distressed/used sort of look

Mom: well people don’t mean to, but they just don’t think and they’ll ruin and then you won’t have a nice table anymore

Me: well then yes, by all means we won’t be able to get that…

And so it goes…every conversation turns into a bit of a power play…her trying to still be the mother in charge and me fighting back like I was still 16…

I love ‘em – but man am I glad I don’t live anywhere near ‘em.


The Hamzinger said...

Reading the post I feel like I need to drink all over again. But what's with the word-for-word recollection from the gal who says she "never remembers" such things, hmmm?

divebarwife said...

I don't remember conversations that people have in movies, but if they're real people I remember all of 'em!

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha! feelin' your pain, sister. How about this exchange with the mother chile as I sat in my (dusty, cat-hair filled) living room:

Me: A-choo
Mom: Are you sick?
Me: No.
Mom: Have you been stuffy?
Me: No.
Mom: Was it clear or green?
Me: It was air.
Mom: Because you don't want to get a sinus infection.
Me: It's not an infection, it's poor housekeeping.
Mom: Because you'd have to take antibiotics, but you know that.
Me: Yes, I know you take antibiotics for infections.
Mom: Have you had infections?
Me: No.
Mom: Then how did you know that?

You get the idea. Soon they'll be half a country away again!!