Warning - Sappy Post

Friendships are a strange thing. I have always considered my close friends to be family. I love my family but I love my friends just as much. Some of my friends and some of my family have had a hard time understanding that. Some understand completely.

There are those friends that you knew the day you met you'd be friends for life. And I love that there are some of you out there reading from places across the country that fall into that category! Even though we don't talk as much we did when we lived in the same place when we are together we can instantly fall back into that same comfortable place. And the fact that you read- I really appreciate. Even when I'm bad at writing or calling - I love the comments I get from Iowa, Baltimore, Kansas or other places.

Then there are those people you think fall into that category - but as time goes by you realize that there's just nothing in common any more except the past. And the people that fall into that category - I know don't read this. And this can apply to people who live both near and far.

But then there are also just the opposite - the great people that you may never have figured to be a good friend - just a casual acquaintance - but then over time you realize how important and special they are to you.

I've been thinking of all this lately because of two incidents:

Last week my best friend from high school came out for a family visit and we got to spend a couple of hours together one night. This was only the second time we'd seen each other or spoken in more than 4 years. When Noland and I were getting married she was going through some personal stuff and didn't come out for the wedding. I was hurt more than words could ever say. We've never talked about it - but we did have a nice little cry before she left this time and while it may take some time to get back to the comfort level we had before - for the first time since then I feel like we're going to make it back.

Then there's my friend here in town - the first friend I had in Portland actually (not counting the one I brought with me :) I invite her to do things, she either can't come out or if she does it's for a very short time or she just sits silently being cranky. Then she stops responding to invitations at all. Eventually I give up because it can't be a one sided effort. Then I hear from another friend that she thinks I'm mad at her and not talking to her. It's hard to not talk to someone who doesn't return calls or initiate them. She was a good friend for that period of my life - but I'm done. It's just not worth the effort.

So I guess this is my sappy message to those of you out there reading - that you are so important to me - friends are family.

And Amy - we talked when we were kids about our plans as adults. We never thought even then that we'd live in the same city. You were going to have a house in a small town on a lake where I'd come and spend 4th of July... and I was going to live downtown in a big city where you would come and spend New Years Eve. So we're not exactly in those situations - but you are still close to home and I am far away - and maybe one day we'll spend one of those holidays together. As family.