BBQs and Mended Pieces

So we’re back from a week in the Midwest visiting the family. All in all it was a really nice trip (the miserably hot and humid weather aside). We got to spend several days with Noland’s parents – including one day with his sister and her kids who had been visiting the week before – I think by the time we all left they were exhausted!

And then the last three days at my parents house – both my brothers and their wives and kids were able to come to town for a while well we were there so that was all good. We didn’t get to see Steve and his family too much - with teenagers – their schedule is awfully busy, so they weren’t able to be there long, but we at least had some time to chat. Some of my old BTN friends came over for a BBQ in our backyard on Sat so that was cool.

It was a pretty small turnout and the butcher gave us WAY more meat then we needed (we told them 20 – and we did have 18 plus some little kids but we could have fed 50 easily) but it was a good time – and I think my mother even survived having people near her house (barely but she made it) She was stressing out before they got there I could tell – she kept trying to arrange things and make it all structured and organized – but once we got her to stop fussing about, I think she might have even had fun sitting out on the deck talking to people.

It’s funny how similar I am to my mom in some ways and how different in so many others. We have some similar mannerisms and habits, but I am – and always have been – such the social person. Love to be surround by my friends, love to be the hostess of the party, love to have something going on all the time – and she is so totally opposite, more then about 6 people in a room at one time drives her crazy. But I hope that this BBQ helped her see that it IS fun to be social – and that it doesn’t have to be stressful or a big deal. And that people really appreciate it – my friends were happy to get together with each other – even though they all live there, they don’t see each other a lot - I was glad to be able to see all of them in the short time I was back, and I was glad my folks let me do it at their place – and everyone had a good time.

The best part of the trip though, had to have been the lunch that we had the day that we flew back home.

WARNING TO ALL YOU BOY READERS – I’M GONNA GET SAPPY

I have not talked to Amy, one of my oldest and dearest friends, in about 3 and half years. She was going through some really rough times in her life at just about the same time that I was going through one of the happiest times of my life – and neither of us was able to be there for the other. At the time, I definitely blamed her – she withdrew from me – but I have come to see over time – that I was selfish because I was hurt and that I failed to reach out to her in the way that I should have, make it not so easy for her to withdraw. So our friendship, made even more difficult simply by the physical distance, became very strained and while we both wanted to, neither really knew what to do or how to do it, to bring us back to where we should be.

She was a piece of me that was broken and missing but I didn’t know what to do.

I sent her an invite to the BBQ – and she wasn’t able to make it, but she called my parents house while we were there and asked if we could hook up for lunch – so Noland and I met her and her boyfriend Judd in KC on Tuesday afternoon – and we just sat there in a Mexican restaurant having lunch catching up. We talked about dogs and houses and school (she’s back in) and work and trips and our families and we only had an hour or so – she had to go to work, but it was the best hour.

Flying back to Portland later that evening – I was sitting there with my headphones on staring out the window and tears just started to run down my cheeks. If this plane crashes – I thought – it will all be ok, because all is right in my world again. We never talked about why we didn’t talk – at this point we didn’t need to – maybe someday, but not now. She seemed so happy – and that’s all I wanted for her – and I am so happy in my life – and I know that’s all she wants for me.

But now I know that the piece of me that is Amy is not lost and is not broken and will always be there.