Gun Play

I think this is a great idea.

I'm not actually opposed to toy guns - my brothers and I all played cops-n-robbers, cowboys-n-Indians, army man, etc. - and none of us are gun owners as adults. I completely disagree with the parenting style that doesn't allow kids to ever see something bad. (And as a non-parent I totally have that right - ha ha!)

But I DO have a big issue with private gun ownership. I think all semi- and automatic weapons should be illegal for personal ownership. I think having rifles/"hunting" guns are fine, but should be quite restricted. And I think handguns should be even more restricted, as I see little need for them in a home.

So even though I don't think toy guns are harmful to kids - I do like the idea of them deciding to turn them in for a different toy.

People Who Piss Me Off

I try to ignore them, but they drive me crazy and I just want to pull my teeth out. You know them. You've heard them. Maybe you've cheered them on. Maybe you ARE one.

'The only television I watch is PBS and The Discovery Channel.'
'I went on this cleansing diet of nothing but lemon juice and it was amazing.'
'My little Jimmy/Janie decided to be a vegetarian at age 3.'
'We only use natural/recycled/organic products in our house.'
'Our kids were just under stimulated in public schools.'
'I never eat fast food.'
'We don't even own a TV.'

Sure - Discovery had some good programs - but you've never been flipping channels and gotten sucked into something ridiculous...or something fantastic, but totally not educational? No? Bullshit.

And your cleansing fast? You loved it? It felt great? And all the people sucking up to you telling you how great it is that you did that? Bullshit.

I could go on. And you know what. I don't believe ANY of you. Self-righteous, smug little twats.

And that goes double for you people who cheer them on.

How to Train Your Dogs to Pee

Our dogs live outside when we're not home. We have a nice fenced back-yard with room for them to run and a variety of places to get out of the rain or sun depending on the weather. During nicer weather - most of the time we spend with them is spent outside. They come inside occasionally, but spend most of their days outside. As the rainy weather set into it's daily drizzle - that pattern changes - and we bring them inside most every evening that we are home.

Being outside dogs however - they aren't trained to go outside, pee and come back in. They figure if they're going outside it's to either play, walk or just be put back outside. Even if they're the ones who indicated that they wanted out. Begbie does pretty well, but once outside Faith is so excited about the prospect of the ball being thrown that she's lost interest in peeing. Even when it's midnight, wet, and we just need them to go once more before we go to bed.

So Noland has come up with a brilliant plan on how to train them on that particular command. The last several nights before we go to bed, when he opens the door and sends them out with the "go pee" command, he goes and pees with them.

All three come back in relieved for the night and ready for bed.
So adorable.

So Close to Home

Yesterday we delivered Thanksgiving boxes to families that may not have had much for the holiday otherwise. More than 100 boxes were delivered - which feed more than 600 people - nearly 400 of whom are children. We had a little conversation before hand talking about how doing this isn't for us to feel good about 'doing something good' but truly to be helping those who are in need. Noland and I took 4 boxes - I believe everyone was given fairly random assignments of where their boxes went. Two of the boxes that we had in our car - ended up being delivered to home just blocks away from our own house. I know we don't live in a wealthy part of town...when we're feeling lazy and put our aluminum and bottle recycling out on the curb rather than taking it to the store - I think it's one of our neighbors that usually picks it up. But it was still a bit of a shock to think that poverty really is that close. That our neighbors might not be eating, or not eating well, while we really do have so much.

Doing the Thanksgiving baskets is great - and I'm glad that East County does it, and there are a lot of other great things done - especially around the holidays - but what about these people the rest of the year?

So my company is putting together an initiative to get involved in the community in a volunteer aspect and I'm leading part of that program. I think what we're going to do, is get involved with the Community Transitional School. It's a school for kids who are homeless...they have a bus that goes around and picks them up wherever they may have spent the night before..the route changing daily. For many of these kids - this school may be the only stable thing in their lives. They've been in a variety of temporary locations over the years - but are now building a permanent building not to far from where we live. So I'm going to talk to the people at the school to find out how we can best help - if it's donations of school supplies, they also need basic hygiene supplies for the kids, if we can do something at the school itself.

It's not about us - it's about them...but I'd be lying to say that it doesn't make me feel good that we can do this.

What Good Does Flushing Do?

Before you pee that is.

There's a woman who works across the hall (we share restrooms with another office) who always flushes the toilet when she first walks into the bathroom. As far as I can tell - always - not 'cause someone else didn't.

Beside wasting water - what's the point?

I don't get it.

I Am Invincible!

The last time I was there they thought I was sedated. They thought I had no idea what they were doing. But I wasn't completely out and I knew. Luckily they almost got busted and I got away. I never told anyone about it because I was afraid they might try to come find me, and somehow they did. I was now back there again. But this time I had the upper hand. They thought I'd have no memory of the last time, but I knew exactly what they were planning.

My mom dropped me off as planned - but I had her grab my purple overnight bag and take it with her instead of leaving it behind. I told her to just grab it as she walked out the door and to be subtle. I didn't tell her why. I went back into my room like I was supposed to, then into the bathroom - but from there I slipped out the back door and around behind the buildings. I started to head toward the parking lot, but saw a group of folks in uniform so I slipped back into an alley and came into the parking lot on the far end. Because I knew what they were planning - when I left my keys with the parking attendant I had only left a copy - I still had them in my pocket, now I just had to find my car. I couldn't see it and I knew I didn't have much time, so I hit the unlock to see if I could catch the lights flashing. Ah-ha. There it is. I get in, but I've been spotted and the alarm has been sounded. I'm running toward my car - but so are they. I get in and start it up - but one of the guys is hanging on the door trying to climb in after and stop me. They have some sort of electro magnetic device that they use to shut down my engine - and I can't go any further.

There's a bit of a scuffle - and they decide they need to move me to a different facility. They still don't know how much I know however - so they only put me in the back of a car with an "attendant" like nothing is really wrong. And they don't check for things like - if I still have my phone. I pull it from my pocket and try to call Noland. No answer. I can't speak so I send a text message, but I'm not sure if it gets through. We've been driving around for a while and I think they've been intentionally going a winding back route to confuse me - because I'm not exactly sure where we are when we pull over to get supplies. I feign sleep so they leave me in the car - I dial 911 and am able to give the operator a few words before they return to the car - but I leave the phone open so that if they say anything that might help the 911 operator find me, they can overhear it. They weren't to bright though and they put me on hold because all of a sudden there was elevator music playing out of my phone and I'm busted. They tell me to throw it out the window and I argue with them. They're going to have to make me.

Suddenly a song comes on the radio that we all like and start singing along... 'Merican by The Descendants... they're impressed that I know the song, so I relent and tell them that I remembered last time. That I wasn't sedated - but that even though I knew what was going on I didn't tell anyone and they can trust me.

I think I might have 'em convinced.

Gilligan's Island and Pumpkin Pants

Ahoy!

But now I owe Spencer beer...